I often get the question (and ask it myself), “How is the adjustment from one to two.” It has been really good, but also surrounded by so much other change in my life it is a little hard to know what is causing which emotions and challenges. But the mom part I think is going quite well, and waaaaay better than going from no kids to one kid.
I think it has a lot to do with having two years of experience in this role. I don’t have it all figured out (in fact I still repeat daily that we have nothing figured out and everything will be ok) but I’m comfortable. Not comfortable in the sense of easy, but in knowing that God isn’t going to let me sink helplessly with my kids in tow. Many of my initial fears that surrounded becoming a mom have been replaced with peace.
I made one goal for myself this time around: be nice. When Emily was born I was shocked with the exhaustion and worried it would never end. Being tired is sooooo hard for me. Ask Andrew or any previous roommate of mine – I need my sleep and have no problem going to bed at eight to get it. So while I had lots of patience for snuggling my new baby and consoling her and feeding her around the clock, I had no patience for Andrew breathing, and I wasn’t very nice about. I’m pleased to say that I have been able to be nice this time around, but I have to very conscious about it. Andrew is a great example of functioning nicely without sleep so I’ve adopted his phrase said in a pleasant voice, “that’s okay, all be alright” in response to less than nine hours of sleep (and let’s be honest, it’s a lot less most nights).
We all hear about how hard being a young mom is but embrace it because it goes so fast. Recently I read a short story from a mom of seven that the key isn’t to slow down time (especially since we can’t actually do that) but instead to be grateful for each diaper change, each meal together, each night feeding, and each game of ring around the rosies. I’ve been testing it out with great results. I feel like it adds a proactive element to parenting – these things aren’t just happening but I am taking in each moment.
While driving around today I once again thought about how much I love being a mom. But then I felt prompted to say it. “Emily I love being your mom.” She quickly added, “and Nathan” with a more sure look on her face about her place in life. Saying it out loud gave me a more sure stance about my place in life too.
So now I will say two things each day: be nice (to myself, and probably lots during the day still) and “I love being your mom.”
We were all matching with our striped shirts, a very important thing for Emily right now, so we took a few pictures. Emily also snapped a few of Nathan and I on her soap camera. And took a break to screw in the screws on her chair.