I can’t believe we are so close to meeting our little girl! This weekend I had loads of contractions that woke me up and kept me awake from midnight on until Monday evening. On Friday I was feeling really sick and achy so by Sunday night it started to seem like the real deal. Except the baby was up high so I knew I wasn’t really progressing, but it was absolutely not braxton hicks. I spent Monday actually preparing for this little ones arrival since up to this point I had done nothing. Oh and taking three naps. The baby finally dropped this morning which has eased the nausea and now the contractions have reverted back to braxton hicks. At first I was disappointed because it felt like I had just spent a day and a half in labor, but after about an hour I was totally back on board with this baby staying put a bit longer.
The kids are really excited about the baby coming. Nathan and I have the following conversation on repeat. “Baby coming. Grandma Moose coming. Car.” “Yes, when the baby comes, Grandma Moose will drive here in the car.” “Grandpa Moose….work. Aunt Tine?” “Yes Grandpa Moose will be at work and Aunt Christine will be at school.” Big grin and chuckle, “Grandma Moose coming.” Emily interjects about this point about coming to see us at the hospital and getting ice by herself from the ice machine in the basement. And she will get some for Nathan too because she can reach.
Both the kids like to see the baby moving. Nathan scrunches all his fingers together and touches my stomach saying, “baby”. If we are both standing and he can’t reach my stomach he puts his arm up in a salute and says, “Baby!” Yesterday he came over and told me she was a “good baby”. Emily will give me a hug and then my stomach a hug so the baby has one too. I’ve been impressed with how excited and patient they both are. Our neighbors both have kids in the 3-5 month range and my kids have been really gentle – which gives me hope. Last time Emily was young enough that her loving and helping the baby could be a bit stressful at times. Now she is old enough to actually be helpful, and Nathan has been really thoughtful but less hands on. We’ll see…
I’m walking about 25 minutes each morning followed by a 30 minutes yoga video from spinning babies that has done wonders for me. Although some days are still really really really bad with sciatic nerve and pelvic pain, others are actually manageable. Plus I’ve never felt so physically prepared for labor before. I highly recommend the $16 investment for the Daily Essentials video for anyone going through pregnancy
I think nesting has kicked in. I’ve tackled so many organizing projects around the house in the last few weeks which has been wonderful. I only have a few more places that need attention, and it would be just fine if I didn’t get to them (at least that was what I was telling myself yesterday when I really thought I wouldn’t).
Around 32 weeks I switched to going to the midwives in a different hospital system from where I had Emily and Nathan. They had the long awaited for answers to our group b strep questions. I had held onto the idea that they probably had some natural option for treating it if I was positive. When I went in for the appointment the conversation boiled down to antibiotics during labor being the only treatment option. We can choose not to accept the antibiotics because of my history with c. diff. It’s a pretty crummy risk for the baby. But it’s a pretty crummy risk for me if I do take them. The midwife ended the topic with, “I’d just pray that you are Group B Strep negative.” It was a bit of a blow.
To be perfectly honest it was completely overwhelming. It felt like too big of a decision to make with possibly not great outcomes for either of us. I told Andrew we would have to wait until we got the test results because I couldn’t face the situation unless we had to.
But at some point along the way I felt consumed by the question. I spent a lot of time pondering, praying, and studying (I highly recommend this talk “Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear“). I had a few anxiety attacks. I kept telling God I wanted to give this burden to him to help me with. It was too heavy for me to carry. But I couldn’t let it go, thinking in circles and worrying. Finally one morning I asked Him to just had to take it from me because I couldn’t seem to give it to Him on my own.
And He did. He took the whole package and handed me a big bundle of love and peace. He brought clarity to my mind and answers that touched my soul. I feel confident in the “but if not” part of the plea to have the test come back negative. I know that whatever we are asked to walk through he will be there with us.
We are waiting for the test results now. Andrew spent a few hours this morning setting up a statistical model with all the possible outcomes of data. We are both working through things in our own way. If the results come back positive we will meet with an infectious disease doctor to figure out the best protocol for treating Group b Strep and c. diff as well as a NICU doctor.